Thanksgiving Recipes From The Thing X Cookbook

Gravy Crumbles
Serves 4

Ingredients:

• 1 quart of turkey gravy (can be adjusted for desired number of servings)
  

Instructions:
Pour a shallow handful of hot, but not boiling gravy, into either palm. Crumble the gravy over desired items such as turkey, potatoes, and other side dishes.
 

Listerine Stuffing
Serves 10

Ingredients:

• 1 stick of butter
  
• 1 loaf of bread, cubed
• 1 onion, minced
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1 bottle of Listerine

Instructions:
Here’s a recipe for a delicious side that will send guests home with minty fresh breath. Preheat the oven to 450ºF. Melt the butter on the stovetop in a saucepan. Sauté the onions in the butter until clear. Mix the onions, butter, eggs, and Listerine, and pour over the bread cubes, and put the mix in a casserole dish. Cook for 1 hour. Remove from oven and garnish with mint leaves and dental floss. Serve after the Thing X Garlic, Cigar Butts, and Feces Cranberry Sauce.
 

Surprise Pie
Serves 8

Ingredients:

• 1 can of product, label removed
• Ready-made pie crust
  

Instructions:
Preheat oven to 350ºF
Place bottom crust in a 9” pie pan. Put on blindfold. Without looking at ingredients, drain can. Pour contents into pie shell. Affix top crust to bottom. Remove blindfold. Put in oven for 50 minutes or until crust is golden brown. Break into someone’s house to serve. Surprise!