News FAQ: Sarah Palin leaves Fox
The three-year on-air contract of former governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin was not renewed by Fox news last week. Here are some of the questions people have about the former pundit.
OH NO! Now that she's been let out of her cage, she's going to come and bite me!
Sarah Palin has never actually been locked inside of a cage, but rather been allowed to roam the country freely. If she was going to come and bite you, she would have already done it.
Her media career over; is she planning on returning to being McCain’s running mate?
No. The election you are referring to ended more than four years ago.
With Sarah Palin gone, who will speak truth to power with the words ‘lamestream media’?
Palin will likely continue to work as a public speaker and can say ‘lamestream media’ for you at events around the country.
Did she find a job she was qualified for, like hiding in a cave for the rest of her life and not poisoning the national dialogue with her hateful, folksy sound bites?
No. She will likely get a similar commentary position or otherwise continue to build on the public persona with which she has had much success.
Is there an alternative way to enjoy Sarah Palin’s commentary during FOX News broadcasts?
Try placing the nozzle of an industrial-strength shop vac into a trough of swamp water runoff. The sound is almost identical to that of Mrs. Palin, as is the quality of the commentary.
Sarah Palin's constant stream of horseshit seemed to be the perfect marriage to Fox News's constant stream of horseshit. I don't understand. Did one just out-horseshit the other?
You seem to think there is only one type of horseshit out there and that is simply not true.
Will Fox News hire a less polarizing commentator, like that Japanese guy who killed and ate a Dutch woman in the 80s and basically got away with it?
No. It is extremely unlikely FOX News will hire Issei Sagawa as an on-air personality.
Now that Sarah Palin has more free time, do you think she could recommend a hand cream for my dry hands?
I don't have the answer to that. Sarah, the ball is in your court.