Internet stalwart Yahoo! announced Monday that it will be purchasing the popular blogging site Tumblr for $1.1 billion. Here are questions from around the web about this sale: Q: Having spent $1.1 billion on this acquisition, will Yahoo! have any money left over to purchase the wok I'm selling on Craigslist?A: It is unlikely that the corporation ever intended to purchase your used cooking pan, but sure, it still co...

The Federation's top-selling novelty starship ball sack!

As the insurrection against the dictator Bashar al-Assad has escalated into a full-on war, many people, including Senator John McCain, are calling for the United States to aid Syrian rebels. Here are some of the questions people from around the web have regarding a possible third war: Q: We won the Middle East Wars a long time ago when we killed Hussein and Osama though, right? A: No, the Iraq War had no clear vict...

DON DRAPER POETRY SEX MAN Season 6, Episode Seven Here's the thing: I know everyone is getting bored with me lately but I think I have a solution There's this book that everyone's been talking about and I'm gonna reenact some scenes from it It's called 9 1/2 Weeks The first thing I'm gonna do is put a ball of margarine in a woman's mouth so she cannot talk at ALL Then I'm gonna lick margarine off her inner legs...

This week, a Texas law student demonstrated a functional handgun printed with a 3D printer. Here are some of the questions people from around the web have about this new class of firearm: Q. Does this mean you can fax a gun? Because I own a fax machine store, and I could really use the business. A. We suppose someone could send the URL of the gun-printing CAD program to someone else, via fax. But no one is proba...

Uh-oh! It's been a whirlwind four weeks for our pal Old Man Meme! He lost his house, got put in a nursing home—his wife even died! Let's take a look back and see what's happened so far to the elderly gentleman who doesn't want to be turned into an Internet meme!Cool! Now that you're all up to speed, make your own Old Man Meme, Old Woman Meme, Interrupted Priest Meme, Unintentional Urn Meme, Reverse Mortgage Trebek...

You know, when I look at those old pictures of myself before I lost 200 pounds, gained 300 pounds, lost 129 Pounds, gained 1 pound, became the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, lost 40 pounds, ran the company into the ground, and lost 20 pounds, I can hardly believe it was me. To this day, friends, family—heck, even people off the street—come up to me and ask, "John, how'd you do it? How did you lose 200 pounds, gai...

DON DRAPER POETRY SEX MAN Season 6, Episode Six ANNOUNCEMENT:I'm Don Draper and I need a Quinceañerabecause I just went througha very serious plot puberty -- my plotstarted out wearing a training bra and then all of a sudden it developed so hardit needed double-Ds! Perverts across America could NOT stop looking at my plot developmentRelatedly, I know you want to make fun of the supertight sweater I wore this epi...

The mint julep has been a staple of every Kentucky Derby since 1938, but you don’t have to be at Churchill Downs in order to enjoy this refreshing and historic bourbon drink. Here’s a favorite recipe that's sure to have you stumbling around like a horse age 21 or older! 1. Muddle 4 mint sprigs in a Collins glass. Spearmint leaves are preferred, though in a pinch, you also can easily substitute menthol cigarette...

Uh-oh! Old Man Meme lost his house, and it looks like he's going to get put in a nursing home! Guess just this once, we probably should leave him alone and not turn him into an Internet meme...psych! Tough tacos, old man—we're gonna meme you harder than ever!Fun! Now it's your turn to make your own Old Man Meme, Trebek Reverse Mortgage Meme, and Smug Son Meme!