The Internet just isn't what it used to be. Some of us still remember a smaller, more approachable web that could fit in the tiny shoe of a human infant. Needless to say, times have changed. The Internet has grown into a data pool far too vast for anyone to process without a psychotic break that ends in bloody, incomprehensible mayhem.
How do we make sense of the web? How do we use it to get the information we want? How can it take us to the places we want/need to smell? Thing X, Inc. knows.
Our company was founded on a single essential question: What inspires people to click without doubt or hesitation, without pause, ignoring bodily fatigue for days and weeks, always clicking, clicking, clicking? For more than a century, our researchers have been screaming that question at the mirror and have, over time, developed the proprietary technology that answers it. In short, Thing X, Inc. is the Internet you want and need - and nothing else. It's the Internet that unrelentingly stimulates the pleasure center of your flesh brain and, well, just feels like home.
So why not look around? Heck, maybe even stick around and offer up your free will? You just might be glad you did!
Thing X, Inc. strives to provide an unparalleled digital experience-not through a monstrous, semi-organic web-based intelligence that will exploit users' clicks and page views to gradually enslave them-but by providing the best content from every square micrometer of the Internet, every single day.